Day zero – the beginning

“They say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day”

Winnie the Pooh

I wasn’t overweight my whole life. As a matter of fact, I was a professional athlete as teenager, a volleyball player since the early age of six until  21. I was pretty damn good, but I decided to have other plans for my life, after being the youngest player in the history of my local league team at 13, winning five regional championships, two national silver medals, and a ‘best player of the region’ award.

Being a full time sport player in high school, I always had very little, if none, time for myself. I never had a night out with friends, a party, I never even had a drink before I was 19, I never travelled. This is the reason why, after high school, I decided that I wanted to do something different with my life, and be the owner of my own time.

University, new life, party, travel the world, freedom. All this was completely new to me, and this is when I found out about my poor time-management skills; as a reaction to the disciplined life I had lived before that, I became exactly the opposite: lazy, drinking, partying, smoking, neglecting my health for a long time.

My bodyweight has seen ups and downs ever since, I dropped 15 kg after my bachelor and gained it all back during the Master. After I started working, I gained 15 more kgs, which leads us to the current situation: 175 cm height, 98 kg bodyweight. 

Every person that struggles with weight knows all about it: being uncomfortable in our own skin, people treating you differently, relationships tearing apart, low self esteem, unsolicited health advices, doctors blaming your weight for every little health issue you may have. And again: the tremendous stress of shopping for clothes, people staring at you every time you eat in public, the shame of going to the beach, hiding behind other people in group photos, and so on and so forth.

“You shouldn’t care what people say”, you’ll surely think. And you are right. I don’t care about other people; I care about what I think about myself. I am all in for body acceptance and all the rest, but as I said, I am not comfortable the way I am now, because I know how it feels being in your best shape, both physically and mentally, and it is exactly where I want to be. 

I am absolutely NOT saying that everyone should lose weight, at all costs. People should be treated with respect, regardless of weight, language, skin color, gender, preferences, orientation, and so on and so forth. 

Also, I am quite against the idea that all bodies are beautiful. It is just not true, for a simple reason: it does not matter. You don’t have to be beautiful to be treated with basic human respect and decency, and being beautiful is not the only thing that matters in this world so that everyone is beautiful no matter what. 

At the same time, I do have my ideas and taste, and I do not think I am beautiful right now… and it is my decision and my decision only to change so that I can feel comfortable in my own skin.  Do not tell me to accept myself the way I am. Whether people are telling you to lose weight or not to, they are neglecting the only thing that matters: you, how you feel about yourself and where do you want to go. I decided that I want to be healthier, because I do not feel healthy at all, and it is my choice only.

Enough with introductions, this is the first post of my weight loss journey, with all its ups and downs, no filters, no lies, no need to be perfect. Hopefully, updating periodically this virtual diary is going to help me being focused, keep on doing whatever is working and change whatever is not.

I’m not going to become one of those empty motivational speakers in perfect ‘You can do it if you really want it’ style, I promise. Stay tuned for more, and feel free to follow, read, comment and share!